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Try, Try, Try Again
Try, try, try, and try again. We were told that
when we were kids. We tell our kids that when they want to quit.
Don't imagine it is any different as you are attempting to create
loving, caring relationships with your step kids.
The way my stepson finally came to love and respect me as his step
mother, was through all of the "trying" experiences we had. Excuse
the pun, but raising kids is a very trying experience!
One of the first times my stepson tested my word and consistency
was over catching the school bus. Nick was not a morning person
and that made getting up in time for school in the morning a
problem. Myself having lunches to pack, and two other kids who
were already responsible for getting themselves up, Nick knew that
I expected him to do his thing in the morning. When he missed the
bus the first time, I informed him that I would drive him to
school that one time, and one time only!
Just a couple of weeks later on another early school morning, I
could tell Nick was going to miss the bus if he didn't move a lot
faster and told him so. I left it at that, went about my business,
and sure enough Nick came to me with a sorrowful look on his face
saying that he had missed the bus. I said, "You had better get
your rollerblades on then or you will be late for the start of
school!" Nick was incredulous and asked if I was sure I could not
take him to school, and I told him that he got his one and only
ride the first time he missed the bus and he better get a move on.
His next excuse was that he was going to be all sweaty if he had
to blade all the way to school (about 4 miles), and I told him to
take an extra shirt. When next I saw him, he was sitting on the
curb in front of our house lacing his skates up, shirt off, back
pack at the ready and I watched him skate off down the road with a
smile on my face.
Find out more....
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Greetings!
In this issue I would like to address the three most common
problems of blended families:
- Jealousy and Resentment
- Blending Parenting Styles
- Preserving the marriage during the transition phase
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Sandy's Tips of The Month
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Concentrate on the following actions to create success:
- Decide the roles each of you will take in parenting and
encouraging the children's development.
- Design a division of labor with necessary tasks such as
supervising, feeding, homework, tasi-driving, etc.
- Talk about your expectations as to how much space there will
be in your marital relationship such as having date nights away
from the kids.
- Treat your extended family (grandparents), including the
non-custodial parents as FAMILY! They still are, so discuss
early on what kind of access they will have.
- Education is an on-going discussion in every damily where
the landscape and needs are child specific and ever changing.
Try to come up with long-term goals and priorities concerning
that and other developmental opportunities.
- Your financial planning and priorities is a subject that is
better confronted than ignored.
- Last, but not least, remain the parenting team who's
decisions are always presented in unity.
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Invitation
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Please consider this an invitation to allow me to coach you into a
place where everyone in your family feels welcome, worthy,
fulfilled, and happy. I can give personalized teaching that brings
about meaningful objectives through concerted action. With all of
the inner conflicts that come from the blending process, I can
help you design environments and strategies which will enable your
family to blend more easily. |
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Read on... |
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