Happy Mother's Day


Happy Mother's Day
	May 2006

in this issue

Making Mistakes

Mother's Day Gift To Yourself

Sandy's Tipping Point

Making Mistakes

As mothers, we tend to believe that we should set a perfect example to our children. In a perfect world, that would be very nice! However, the world is far from perfect and I admit that I am also far from perfect, how about you? After 20 years of mothering, I have decided that it is alright to admit it to my kids when I've made a mistake. I expect them to 'fess up to mistakes they have made, I expect adults to confess when they have made a mistake, why not me?
The other night I was tossing and turning, unable to sleep because I realized that I had made a mistake by telling my daughter something she did not need to know. The next morning I apologized to her and she forgave me by saying it hadn't bothered her. She went off to school that day without the burden that I had inadvertently placed on her shoulders, and I felt that I had righted my wrong.
How easy was that? Very! It would be really good if we could always follow the advice of experts, always remember what to do in a tough situation, never let any "buttons" get pressed so that we react badly, but let's face reality: we will probably be making some mistakes. As a mother of two and a stepmother of three, I have to say that some of the more worthy brownie points I have won with my kids were earned through truthful discussions and admissions. What better example can we set for our kids than the one where we model behavior we would like to see them use?

Find out more....

	Greetings! It shouldn't make one bit of difference whether you are mothering your biological kids or step kids as to HOW you mother. The fact is, all kids have the same basic needs. Stability, boundaries, love & kindness, education, food & shelter, and a sense of belonging. It shouldn't matter what your stepkids call you (no four-letter words I hope), they probably already have a Mom. Let them decide how they want to address you, such as using your first name! It depends on how old the kids are as to whether you, as stepmom, will be the disciplinarian. If they are under 10 and you and your spouse decide it's all right for you to start getting involved in that, go ahead. If they are entering the teenage years, it should be up to their biological parents. Keeping that discipline in line with the siblings' accustomed consequences is where the balancing act comes in.

Mother's Day Gift To Yourself
	"Pride is concerned with who is right. Humility is concerned with WHAT is right." Ezra Taft Benson. That is along the same line as Dr. Phil's saying, "Would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?" It makes such a difference to every relationship we are in to look at that distinction and decide what our real priority is. If we have a family of three people, there are actually four members there. The fourth member is the relationship itself! The relationship is a member because it has a personality that the people have built it into. We have a choice when we build relationships as to whether they are healthy and functional, or not. If all of the people involved are emotionally sound and happy, chances are the relationship is also. If there are unhappy people, that will be showing up in areas of the family's relationship. Can you give yourself the gift of a happy family? Or would you like some qualified help?
	Read on...

Sandy's Tipping Point
	If you feel that you could use some help in the area of relationship building or that you have made some mistakes, why don't you ask for some help? Being trained as a life coach, I can help you learn how to construct frameworks that will support the changes that you see as being necessary. I am prepared to give the first five families who ask for it a 25% reduction in the cost of a three month period of coaching.
	Read on...

:: branuday@nc.rr.com

:: http://www.stepfamilysuccess.com

:: 910-315-1741