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Father Time~It's Changing
The following is taken
from "Raising Self-Reliant
Children in a Self-Indulgent World by H .Stephen
Glenn, Ph.D. & Jane Nelsen, Ed.D.
In 1930,
according to the census, 70% of all Americans lived
on
farms or in small communities. By 1950, a complete
reversal had occurred: Nearly 70 % lived in an
urban/suburban environment, and only one third lived
on farms or in small communities. And even those in
a rural environment had an urban lifestyle. They
commuted to work, had television in their homes, and
had their children bused to school.
As a result of this radical change, the integrity of
relationships diminished all the way around.
Families moved from living rooms filled with dialogue
to family rooms dominated by electronic devices. As a
result, conversation became unlikely. Once we had
kitchens filled with rituals, traditions, and
collaboration, and supper table conversation
extending until bedtime. This was frequently the most
affirming and attractive activity available.
Now we have rooms full of machines that pour noise
and images into our homes and wipe out all personal
interactions. We traded our wagons which moved so
slowly that we had no alternative but to talk to one
another, for metal cylinders that race down freeways
while cassette tape players & FM radios absorb our
attention. It is now possible to travel all the way
across the country and never have to say more
than, "Are you sure you have to go now?"
Find out more....
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Greetings!
Planting the seed does not guarantee that you are a
real father. So much more goes into the father job that
the beginning of fatherhood almost counts for
nothing! Being a REAL father is a combination of
putting yourself at your family's disposal at all hours,
setting a good example to the kids in all situations
including what and how much you eat. Sharing
memories from your own childhood, whether they are
good or bad, because those times taught you
important lessons. Being physcally and mentally
present in all of the important days and ways of your
children's lives. Not just piano recitals & football
games, but parent teacher conferences & bath time
too. This is a difficult job for all parents to do every day
of their life & being a good stepfather is that difficult
and more! As a stepdad you have to do all of the hard
things that biodads do with no personal history or
responsibility for these kids.
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| You're Not My REAL Dad! |
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When I was in 2nd grade my mother married my
stepfather. There was a brief honeymoon period
when my brothers and I thought this new family was
exciting before our stepfather had to enforce some
rule. I don't remember what the incident was, but my
brothers and I I assembled in my room to
commiserate with each other about it. They
complained to me about "him" dressing them down
about their action. I told them from my big sister and
know-all position that "We don't have to listen to him,
he's not our REAL dad anyway!"
Either our Mom or the Stepdad happened to hear that
conversation and called a family meeting in the living
room after dinner that night. The meeting began with
our mother asking us what we thought a "real" father
was! I knew I was busted at that point and was on the
spot to come up with a good answer. Even at age
seven or eight I knew that a real father was not created
by a technicality, but with real actions.
If you would like to read more about what I consider
good examples of stepparenting from my personal
history, click the "Read on..." These examples give
you a little insight into my background experience as a
stepparent or stepfamily coach.
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Read on... |
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| Happy Father's Day |
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I am an equal-opportunity stepfamily coach & would
like to offer my Stepfather subscribers a coaching
contract for a drastically reduced price during the
month of June (as I did my stepmom subscribers last
month). For the first three NEW stepfathers
who respond to this offer I will give four months of
coaching at $50 per month! By new, I mean men who
have been stepfathering for less than six months or
men who are about to undertake this huge
responsibility. Mothers, please give this gift to the new
men in your children's life!
This is a win-win situation where three lucky families
are going to have a much easier, less complicated
and stressed summer and ultimately a successful
second marriage! Contact me as soon as you can
this month to take advantage. Click "Read on" to see
recent testimonials from people who were coached by
me.
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Read on... |
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