News from Step Family Success
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What Is A Real Father?
     June 2007

in this issue

Father Time~It's Changing

You're Not My REAL Dad!

Happy Father's Day


 

Father Time~It's Changing

The following is taken from "Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World by H .Stephen Glenn, Ph.D. & Jane Nelsen, Ed.D.
In 1930, according to the census, 70% of all Americans lived on farms or in small communities. By 1950, a complete reversal had occurred: Nearly 70 % lived in an urban/suburban environment, and only one third lived on farms or in small communities. And even those in a rural environment had an urban lifestyle. They commuted to work, had television in their homes, and had their children bused to school.

As a result of this radical change, the integrity of relationships diminished all the way around. Families moved from living rooms filled with dialogue to family rooms dominated by electronic devices. As a result, conversation became unlikely. Once we had kitchens filled with rituals, traditions, and collaboration, and supper table conversation extending until bedtime. This was frequently the most affirming and attractive activity available.

Now we have rooms full of machines that pour noise and images into our homes and wipe out all personal interactions. We traded our wagons which moved so slowly that we had no alternative but to talk to one another, for metal cylinders that race down freeways while cassette tape players & FM radios absorb our attention. It is now possible to travel all the way across the country and never have to say more than, "Are you sure you have to go now?"

Find out more....


Greetings!

Planting the seed does not guarantee that you are a real father. So much more goes into the father job that the beginning of fatherhood almost counts for nothing! Being a REAL father is a combination of putting yourself at your family's disposal at all hours, setting a good example to the kids in all situations including what and how much you eat. Sharing memories from your own childhood, whether they are good or bad, because those times taught you important lessons. Being physcally and mentally present in all of the important days and ways of your children's lives. Not just piano recitals & football games, but parent teacher conferences & bath time too. This is a difficult job for all parents to do every day of their life & being a good stepfather is that difficult and more! As a stepdad you have to do all of the hard things that biodads do with no personal history or responsibility for these kids.


  • You're Not My REAL Dad!
  • When I was in 2nd grade my mother married my stepfather. There was a brief honeymoon period when my brothers and I thought this new family was exciting before our stepfather had to enforce some rule. I don't remember what the incident was, but my brothers and I I assembled in my room to commiserate with each other about it. They complained to me about "him" dressing them down about their action. I told them from my big sister and know-all position that "We don't have to listen to him, he's not our REAL dad anyway!"

    Either our Mom or the Stepdad happened to hear that conversation and called a family meeting in the living room after dinner that night. The meeting began with our mother asking us what we thought a "real" father was! I knew I was busted at that point and was on the spot to come up with a good answer. Even at age seven or eight I knew that a real father was not created by a technicality, but with real actions.

    If you would like to read more about what I consider good examples of stepparenting from my personal history, click the "Read on..." These examples give you a little insight into my background experience as a stepparent or stepfamily coach.

    Read on...
  • Happy Father's Day
  • I am an equal-opportunity stepfamily coach & would like to offer my Stepfather subscribers a coaching contract for a drastically reduced price during the month of June (as I did my stepmom subscribers last month). For the first three NEW stepfathers who respond to this offer I will give four months of coaching at $50 per month! By new, I mean men who have been stepfathering for less than six months or men who are about to undertake this huge responsibility. Mothers, please give this gift to the new men in your children's life!

    This is a win-win situation where three lucky families are going to have a much easier, less complicated and stressed summer and ultimately a successful second marriage! Contact me as soon as you can this month to take advantage. Click "Read on" to see recent testimonials from people who were coached by me.

    Read on...
     


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