I wanted to take the time to comment on the quality of coaching we (my husband and myself) received from Sandy. First of all, she is so easy to talk to. She really understands the dynamics of a step-family and is able to quickly identify areas that perhaps need work. She takes the time to talk to each individual involved, either in a group with each spouse involved, or privately if needed. She has many suggestions pertinent to unique situations. Also, initially I was uncertain as to how coaching would work, especially over the phone, but that proved not to be an issue. You just talk as you would if you were sitting in someone's office, so no big deal there.
In my particular case, she was there to remind me that perhaps there is no solution per say, other than a need to find peace and acceptance in areas that I cannot control. Though sometimes accepting a situation as it is seems the only obvious solution to outsiders, it is often hard for those involved to do so. Sandy is able to coach you in this area and help you identify ways to accept things you cannot change. And in areas that each partner can work on, she offered suggestions in how to do so and encouraged us to talk and come up with ideas that work for our family.
Sandy recognizes how difficult the transition can be in regards to forming a new step-family and is able to facilitate expressing the feelings that come with this in a way that does not make the biological spouse feel attacked or guilty. It is just a natural part of the process and sometimes it helps to have a third party involved that can act as sort of a mediator in sorting through all this. It also helps to just get the education in regards to the dynamics involved with step-families. Sometimes knowing "this is all normal and to be expected" when you feel completely overwhelmed is very comforting in itself. She is there to offer resources and insight in a warm, accepting way. She is wonderful!
~ Betsy, June 30, 2008
I
really struggled when I first talked to Sandy. I wanted
to help our very new stepfamily very badly. The issues
my significant other had involving my two teens was
a tremendous pressure point in our relationship and
still is. I was having a hard time talking to her
about it and trying to find help. Defenses were up.
With the short time I talked with Sandy and the things
she said to me opened me up to a new path to to help
my kids and myself make changes in ourselves. My two
boys and I are well on our way to a happier home,
and I am still working on the other half with my significant
other.
~ Jeff;
Claremont, NH; March 2, 2007
We
are SO THANKFUL for the direction Sandy has given
to us...A new step-family situation can seem
like a mine-field of problems without solutions...And
each day you think you are making progress you
step on another hidden explosive that blows away
your confidence that you are making headway.
But
one-by-one the "mines" can be found and
defused...
leading one step at a time to what you
really wanted the whole time...warm
relationships among every member of your
family - something that cannot be "purchased"
at
any price.
Thank
you Sandy for providing a road-map to a happier family
with members that better appreciate each other, respect
and look out for each other, and are more in tune
with how to be in harmony with each other. ~
Nadine & Kelvin Parker; February 7, 2007
Before
I met Sandy, I had many unanswered issues, I had been
married for 19 yrs and have 4 boys that I raised alone
after the divorce. I fell in love with the most wonderful
man and he had 2 daughters, when we married we now
have our daughter...that makes seven! His ex was our
only bump in the road...but now his youngest daughter
is being used as a pawn and it has caused alot of
problems, I had to find out the hard way, that as
a stepmom, I have NO rights! But I did have the huge
responsibility of raising someone else’s child. That
knowledge actually lifted a burden off of me. Now
I can be me and try and do the best I can to help
this child grow up and be healthy.
Sandy
taught us ways to diffuse situations before they happened.
She had experienced similar problems with her ex and
we understood each other completely. As a result of
e-mails and phone calls with each other, I feel healthy
all over! My husband and I feel relieved and strong
about our family and the decisions we make for our
children we share with each other and the ex's. I
will never stop researching and trying to find better
ways to help my family be a happy one. Sandy gave
me just what I needed at a very low point in my life
and I now feel great! Thank you! ~ Kat &
Bo
